just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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