Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
