There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
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Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
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Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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