Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
