You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
