Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Randomize
