You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
