We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
