Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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