I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She swung at the pinata with crutches
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
