I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
