where am i from again
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize