Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Semen is not good for contacts.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
