Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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