Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
