Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Randomize
