Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Randomize
