On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
