So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
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Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
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CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
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