is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
i think i just lost a toe
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
