I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize