He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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