Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
