I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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