All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
You've changed since you got that strap on
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
