well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
