I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize