your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize