I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?