and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.