Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both

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  (248): i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both http://tfl.nu/4hk0
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??

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  (856): Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray?? http://tfl.nu/zh2p
  Replies (36) Good night (1037) Bad night (3928) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating

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  (240): Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating http://tfl.nu/ynhz
  Replies (19) Good night (1021) Bad night (3219) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.

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  (570): My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend. http://tfl.nu/7sdv
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Just the budget?

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  (515): I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget... (316): Just the budget? http://tfl.nu/v45e
  Replies (4) Good night (4322) Bad night (853)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE

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  (314): BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE http://tfl.nu/wuvh
  Replies (5) Good night (2293) Bad night (648) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?

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  (904): Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke? http://tfl.nu/8orw
  Replies (19) Good night (3807) Bad night (1163) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.

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  (217): I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong. http://tfl.nu/7bl9
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits

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  (248): you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits http://tfl.nu/vmd3
  Replies (4) Good night (2133) Bad night (844) Order T-Shirt
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  (916): View more from California

  Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.

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  (916): Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On. http://tfl.nu/kp7b
  Replies (5) Good night (3500) Bad night (551) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.

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  (217): While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month. http://tfl.nu/gp1m
  Replies (18) Good night (763) Bad night (4316) Order T-Shirt
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?

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  (540): I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night? http://tfl.nu/328v
  Replies (9) Good night (2412) Bad night (523)
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  (209): View more from California

  Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!

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  (209): Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!! http://tfl.nu/rqsa
  Replies (2) Good night (886) Bad night (347) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.

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  (417): She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night. http://tfl.nu/v9wx
  Replies (0) Good night (999) Bad night (311) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.

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  (708): I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer. http://tfl.nu/vs89
  Replies (2) Good night (463) Bad night (215) Order T-Shirt

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