My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
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