I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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