hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
