I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
