Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
