He uses pillows to masturbate.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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