She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize