no, he came in my armpit
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
