I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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