even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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