sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
