I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
