I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
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