I am in a vortex of obligation.
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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