Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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