Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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