did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Randomize
