Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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