Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize