UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
