So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I need water and some morals
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
