Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
