if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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