the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
