you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Randomize
