And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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