ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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